


hold on to the memories

by brokentombstone



Series: Jonsa New Years Drabbles 2021 [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokentombstone/pseuds/brokentombstone
Summary: Sansa reflects on what she has lost.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Series: Jonsa New Years Drabbles 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099139
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39
Collections: Jonsa New Year Drabbles





	hold on to the memories

**Author's Note:**

> day 5: memories

Fragments. That’s all they are now.

Arya is god knows where, somewhere across the sea Sansa expects if she’s even alive. It’s been nearly a year since she heard from her sister. And she was desperate enough to send a letter to the Lord of Storm’s End, Gendry Baratheon to see if  _ he  _ had heard from her. 

He hadn’t. 

And Bran. Well Bran at least is alive. She knows if he weren’t she would have heard straight away that the King of the Six Kingdoms had died. Still. Bran was a shell of anything he might once have been. And he is distant enough that he might as well be dead.

Dead to her. 

The worst of all was still Jon. Always would be Jon. Because she still half expects him to show up. Expects that he would realize the futility of an exile when your cousins are the monarchs and they’re the most dear people to you left alive. Yet no word, not in the years that had passed since he went North of the wall. 

He’s but a whisper to her now. Except when he’s not. 

Except when she wakes up in the middle of the night and paces through Winterfell like a ghost of a Queen. Like a woman haunted by the past, by the ghosts. (Not all of them dead). 

Except when she loses herself in the middle of a council meeting momentarily because she was vividly imagining what Jon might have had to add on a difficult trade agreement or boundary line on some Lord’s property. 

Except when it’s late and she’s crawling into her bed and she swears she can still feel Jon’s hands on her. Feel him clutching to her like a drowning man struggling to stay afloat. 

(She’d felt it three times. When they’d reunited, when he’d returned with Daenerys, and when he’d left King’s Landing. A solid beginning, middle and end to their short time together. The thought is bitter to her now). 

This is who she is now. Sansa Stark. Queen in the North. Eldest surviving daughter of Eddard and Catelyn Stark. The red wolf. The woman thrice widowed. 

And so she makes her way to the tower and she carries her candle all the way up the stairs to set it in the window sill. Leave a light on. To guide them home to her. Arya and Bran. But most of all Jon. 

In the meantime she has her fading memories of what they almost had. 


End file.
